The Challenges of Sobriety Are Very Real
I’ve often said that you don’t quit drinking on Tuesday and then on Wednesday life is suddenly peachy keen. The reality is, the challenges of sobriety are real and varied, and pulling yourself out of the depths of addiction is a long and daunting process. It’s not that it isn’t worth it – believe me, it absolutely is – but there can be unexpected bumps in the road you’ll need to face along the way.
Some of these challenges are practical, some are emotional, and some are existential. They can sneak up on you when you least expect it. But by being aware of them, you’re in a much better place to face them head-on when they arise. So here are 7 challenges of sobriety, and how I’ve learned to overcome them.
1. Loneliness
Sobriety can be lonely. For many of us, drinking was a social activity. Maybe you went to the pub with friends, had wine nights, or simply felt comforted knowing others were also “unwinding” at the end of the day. Alcohol created a false sense of connection. Take that away, and sometimes you’re left with a big empty space.
Or maybe, like me, you were drinking to escape loneliness to begin with. In sobriety, that loneliness comes back, but this time there’s no numbing agent. It’s just you and your feelings, and that can be hard. This is one of the biggest challenges of sobriety.
How to overcome it:
Start by finding a community. That might mean support groups like AA or SMART Recovery, or it could be an online sober community. Reach out to people who understand what you’re going through. Also, make an effort to deepen your sober friendships or reconnect with people who bring you peace. And learn to be okay with solitude. It’s not the same as loneliness—it can actually be quite healing when you learn how to sit with yourself.
2. Triggers
Triggers existed when we drank, but we didn’t call them that. We called them “reasons” or “excuses.” Maybe it was a fight with your partner, a stressful day at work, or even a celebration. Really, any emotional spike could justify a drink.
In sobriety, those triggers are still there. The emotions are still raw, but now we don’t have our old coping mechanism.
How to overcome it:
Identify your biggest triggers and make a plan for them. If arguments are a trigger, learn new communication skills or create space before reacting. If stress is your kryptonite, find healthier ways to unwind through exercise, meditation, journaling. The more aware you are of your own patterns, the more power you have to change them.
3. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
I only recently learned the term “FOMO,” but it described my old mentality perfectly. I always thought I was missing out if I wasn’t at the party, if I wasn’t drinking with the group, if I wasn’t doing what everyone else was doing. Sobriety forced me to sit with that feeling, and to question it.
What I’ve learned – very slowly, I’ll admit – is that I’m not actually missing out. I’m just not present when I’m consumed with what I think I’m missing. This is one of the challenges of sobriety that took me some time to get beyond.
How to overcome it:
Practice gratitude for where you are and what you’re doing in the moment. Try this: the next time you feel like you’re missing out, remind yourself that there’s always something going on somewhere. If you were camping in the woods, would you be sad you missed a karaoke night at a bar? Probably not. Life isn’t about squeezing into every experience, it’s about showing up fully to the ones that matter.
4. Changing Friends
Sobriety can shake up your social life in big ways. You might find that some of your friendships don’t survive, especially the ones built mostly around drinking. It’s painful to realize that some people only knew one version of you, and they might not be ready to meet the sober you.
How to overcome it:
Letting go of friendships is hard, but it opens space for new ones that align with your values. Be patient and open to new connections. Find people who support your growth. You don’t need a huge circle but just a few people who get you and want the best for you. And yes, it’s okay to grieve the friendships that don’t last.
5. Boredom
This one hit me like a truck. Once I took alcohol out of the equation, I realized how much of my time and energy had been wrapped around drinking; buying it, planning it, recovering from it. Suddenly, I had all this time, and I didn’t know what to do with it. As one of the tougher challenges of sobriety, there are great ways to fill up your empty schedule.
How to overcome it:
This is a chance to explore who you are beyond the bottle. Try new hobbies. Revisit old passions (for me this was getting back into guitar playing). Take classes, volunteer, get outside. Boredom in sobriety isn’t a sign that something’s wrong but it’s a sign that your life is ready to be filled with new, meaningful things.
6. Rediscovering Yourself
Who am I without alcohol? That’s a question I didn’t expect to ask, but in early sobriety, it came up often. For so long, drinking was part of my identity; what I did, who I did it with, how I coped, celebrated, grieved. Taking that away forced me to take a hard look at who I really am.
How to overcome it:
Be curious. Be gentle. You don’t have to have all the answers right away. Try new things. Listen to what excites you, what soothes you, what feels right. Recovery isn’t just about quitting drinking but about coming home to yourself. And that’s a process.
7. Replacing Other Bad Habits
For many of us, quitting drinking doesn’t magically make us the healthiest person on the planet. You might find yourself leaning into sugar, caffeine, shopping, or overworking. Basically anything to fill the hole alcohol left behind. This is one of the challenges of sobriety that seems to stem from an addictive nature.
How to overcome it:
Awareness is the first step. Notice what habits are creeping in and ask yourself if they’re helping or hurting. It’s okay to need comfort but long-term healing comes from balance, not replacement. Therapy can help here, as can support groups or even journaling to unpack what you’re really needing when you reach for a quick fix.
Don't Let the Challenges of Sobriety Deter You
The challenges of sobriety may feel overwhelming at times, but each one offers an opportunity to rebuild a stronger, more authentic version of yourself. You’re not alone; millions of people are walking this path alongside you. With time, support, and self-compassion, those challenges turn into stepping stones. Keep going. It gets better, and you’re worth it. Let yourself live!